Sex Stats and Acro

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September 24, 2014 by synapticwolf

Welcome to the next installment of my awkwardly titled blog series: Which Circus People Like What Kinky Stuff.


acro vanessa

Which things make acrobats feel like this?

In case you’re just joining us, let me fill you in on my methodology. I sent a poll to all the spinners I could find on the internet asking them which props they play with and which kinky games they play with other people.

Just for funsies, I threw in a question about other circus arts. And since over a thousand flow artists and circus folk were kind enough to share their intimate preferences with me, I am returning the favor by sharing my amateur statistical analysis of those preferences with the internet.

And now for some “science.”

The cohort contained 1076 spinners, 393 of whom were into acro.

acro stats (all)

So, if you are able to do more things with your body, it appears as if you also, um, enjoy doing more things with your body.

Now seems as good a time as any to link to this article: Dating Advice from Acrobats.

Only in the anal sex and sex with sex toys categories did acrobats score less kinky than those who keep their magic moves grounded.

The divine Empress Stah, of course, defies all statistical probabilities.

The divine Empress Stah defies all statistical probabilities with her laser butt plug show.

Fortunately for the advancement of human knowledge, I was clever enough to ask not only who did acrobatics, but also who did what kind of acrobatics.


Most obvious result here: Aerialists are way bisexual. (If you’ve been wondering how I calculate bisexuality, the answer is that I add up the number of people who indicated that they enjoy both “Heterosexual sex” and “Homosexual sex.”) They also enjoy receiving pain and getting bitched around.

And here is a photo of Rachel Rubin who does not fit any of these statistical truths. If you are a regular reader of this blog, you will know how saddened I am by this fact.

And here is a photo of Rachel Rubin, yet another aerialist who refuses to conform to the results which I have calculated in such a careful and almost-scientific manner.

People who enjoy doing ridiculous body tricks while still attached to the planet are the most dominant of acrobats as well as the most heterosexual.


Marissa Gough dominates gravity. But in my imagination, she dominates ladies as well.

And finally, we have acroyoga – The gushy, lovely-feeling mixture of yoga, Thai massage and acrobatics practiced where ever there are hippies.

acro yoga wolf lena

Look! Hippies! Lobita Blaze flies Leena Vie in Goa.

And – big surprise – these people are the least sexually adventurous of the bunch.

I will end by linking to an article written by the fantastically talented Marissa Gough. It’s a breakdown of her experience as a sexual female, an acrobat, a performer and the intersection of these identities. Here.

Also, a picture of Marissa setting my arm on fire at Wildfire in 2008.

Also, a picture of Marissa setting my arm on fire with her tongue in 2008.


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What is Flow?

Flow is the state of grace that emerges as a natural consequence of full presence. The flow arts, also called spin juggling or object manipulation, alternatively engage and relax the body and mind. By following the natural movements of an object, we can unlock the previously hidden potential of our inner dance.

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